Adventures on the Redneck Rivera

Despite my devastation that Miracle Strip Amusement Park closed forever last November so that we couldn't ride the Abominable Snowman or Dante's Inferno or the Musical Express, pleasures I greatly anticipated for quite some time, we did manage to have a damn good time.

Not only did I have fun, I had a man who's killed multiple people. No, he's not a murderer! He's a marine. Small but very muscular guy from Ohio, 41 years old, stationed in Iraq for seven months. He almost convinced me that Bush isn't the devil -- but then, a soldier would have to believe that they are doing the right thing for sanity's sake.

First stop: Wal-mart. How appropriate! Viv grilled hamburgers for us at our lovely townhouse next to Show-n-Tail. Drank daiquiris on the deck of a liquor store overlooking the strip where we yelled at folks passing by who honked at us and yelled back. Fabulous day at the beach on Friday. Read Chloe Does Yale, also appropriate. Ate at Sharky's, Pineapple Willy's, and of course, the Treasure Ship where we wore paper pirate hats and colored pictures of a pirate and his ship while we ate. Flirted with the balloon artist.

Rain on Saturday sent us to see Wedding Crashers! Hilarious. We also shopped at Alvin's Magic Mountain where you can have your picture taken with a small live alligator in your lap. Discovered the "Willy Warmer" at Condom Knowledge and almost bought a mullet wig. I haven't laughed that much in a long time.

Most importantly, we partied all night at Spinnaker's on Friday and Saturday. Jenn almost hooked up with the singer of the cover band who played all of my favorite songs: American Girl, Laid, various Coldplay. I bought a Bud for a precious young guy from Albany who said to me, speaking of his girlfriend, "I just love her, man." Jenn and I danced with a crazy guy whose best moves are "the football" and "gallop like a pony." Fireworks. Escape from Atlanta. Mindlessness and good times.